I've been posting almost daily in my private Facebook page since about last week -- all things concerning the reactions to what happened to George Floyd and to protests and to how people are treating one another.
Some may be wondering though:
Why am I, a white woman, posting so much?
Here's the deal. Black voices should be the primary voices that people are listening to. I try to highlight them whenever I can. Because --as much as I can listen, collect facts, have empathy, and try to understand, I will never truly understand or feel what people of color have to face in this country. It just isn't possible because even "a day in the life of..." scenario can't come close to the weight and impact of a lifetime of experience. And because of this, I might not always get it right.
I know when I first started digging deeper into these issues, years ago especially, I said some things that I now recognize as stupid, surface level crap. But I've tried to keep learning and move on from that. And so, my efforts here are quadrupled.
- To challenge myself to fully engage and continue to learn.
- To help people who are currently like how I was once upon a time (well intentioned but woefully uninformed)
- To create synthesis of the crazy thrall of social media reactions for those who may not currently have the emotional capacity or space to navigate them
- To reach people who have difficultly hearing, recognizing, or believing voices of color.
While all of these reasons are important, number 4 is the reason I must speak.
While I will not always get it right and some things just boil down to opinion, every post I make is based on trying to look at all the things that everyone is saying, and putting them together in a way that will make sense for others lost in the thrall. In other words, I'll do my best.
But can't let the fear of slipping up force me into silence.
Because I also know that white silence is consent.
Because I know there are certain types of people that just won't "hear" some of these concepts if they come from a person of color. These people may be well intentioned but poorly informed, or they may be a certain "I'm not racist" variety that still groups the wants, desires, and needs of an entire race into one.
Or to put it another way, despite people of color being individuals with different experiences and opinions on what is happening and how things are being handled, there are some people who would ignore those thoughts and opinions because "they're just upset because they're black." I wish I was making this up.
I have seen this happen in real-time in the comments and discussions on the posts and threads' of others. "Of course you're going to say that because..." or "you're just playing the race card."
And this includes people who recite that people of color are not "less than" yet still see them as an amalgamation (feeling or stating "they" ALL support Obama, "they" ALL protest the same, etc).
There are still people who choose to dichotomize issues that are far too complex to be split and issues which should never have a "side" to begin with, like basic human equality.
There are still people who are victim blamers because our society is just kind of set up that way, so to a degree they don't even realize they're doing it.
There are the "classic racists" among us (closeted or not) who need to see that their behavior is unacceptable.
And there are some sheltered white folks, just starting to realize the depth of what is going on, who don't have a clue where to start.
All of these people, due to lack of exposure, due to lack of knowledge of where to look, due to being early in the process of realizing what is going, and due to deeply ingrained prejudices they don't even realize they have (and yes, due too to the ones who have them and know and act accordingly) --- have trouble finding or hearing voices of color. Have trouble believing them. And have trouble seeing this as more than just a "minority" issue.
I'm not saying I have some kind of magical power -- lol hardly. I'm just recognizing that some people will give me room to speak, at least read what I have to say, and engage with me differently than they would a person of color. I'm saying that when I speak to these people, I also don't need to take the emotional weight of them implying or outrightly stating that I am less than them just because of the color of my skin. And many more will "see" me in their spaces where they just simply won't see others.
It's an unfair credence, but I'm granted it. It doesn't mean they'll all listen though.
I've been told off my fair share, turned away, insulted, name called, personally attacked, and even just respectfully unsuccessful in cracking through to people. And a certain sect of them are happy to group me into another category they don't have to listen to (snowflake, bleeding heart, naive) before dismissing me.
But just because I didn't convince that person, or didn't make a big difference that day, doesn't mean I didn't make an impact.
And even if I didn't, speaking up for equality or shutting down racist ideologies is far less likely to cause harm than silence can and does.
By people like me staying silent, the ideas of the people listed above remain unchallenged as far as they're concerned. Their idea that this doesn't concern them remains untested.
If we stand by and only let people of color and those who would silence them speak, we support the "us v.s. them" fantasy. And we deny the fact that we have white privilege and power, even here. Where we shouldn't have any at all.
It's about time white people got uncomfortable-- whether that means speaking or listening. Because discomfort breeds change.
And change is needed.
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