So, if you were counting, you may have realized I ended about 2 poems short of finishing National Poetry Month Challenge. However, really, I somehow managed to draft this one and never share it -- until now. And that leaves only 1 short, so I wrote that too. So, here you are. The last two for NPMC poems for 2016. Written and largely unedited as normal. Though I really want to work on the second one more.
"Where I Am"
The seconds skitter by
And I can't help but realize
That I am closer to living in the past
Than the present
That my future self
Is already struggling
To remember these moments
As crisp and as sharp
as they are
At present
"Chaotically Good"
There couldn't be a more perfect
metaphor
As all the children jumped and ran
this way
You ran and jumped
that way
straight through the crowd
against the grain
against the flow
against the teacher's eager instructions
only 3 years into this life
and you've already mastered
the art of carving your own path
It's a problem for them
You lack interest in blending
The majority moves too slow
too in sync and perfect
and you crave more
bigger, brighter, faster
When they hung by their feet on the bars
in the safety of the center
you scaled the edges
relying on your toes
When they hesitated at the edge of the jump
afraid to stumble, to not land on their feet
you threw yourself over
stunt rolling down the mat
then hurried to the next task
Before one of them could decide to act
you'd done the whole course
three times
You're not content to sit and listen
a single example's enough
and
because I said so
because everyone's doing it
never are
It's a complex skill
making you comply
You can't be tricked into forgetting
you're not easy to distract
from your self assigned missions
you smell an empty bargain
can't be sold any bridges
It won't be easy
this always knowing where you're going
when they haven't told you yet
You'll always be pushing against the edges
breaking the boundaries
crushing expectation
and learning everything the hard way
being labeled rowdy, a disruption
And I'll always be fumbling
half in worry half in awe
to get you in line
but only just enough
you'll need a passing conduct
in these early, formative years
you'll need to learn to learn
through just your ears
to take lesson from caution, instead of falling
to contain that spirit when expected
but only just enough
the balance won't be easy
to conform without meaning it
without needing it
and the world won't be kind
I'll never eradicate your pushing against
even if we try to rein it in
because
that force, fire, momentum within you
is chaotically good is
fundamentally necessarily part of you
and jettisons you through the world
at odd, delightful angles
and because
when they rushed to the wall
simply, without question, as told
you ran to the corner
to the sad little girl there
and whispered something good
kissed her on her forehead
and led her back to the fun
you're drawing your own course
and I can't stop you
not because I don't know how
but because I wouldn't dare
"Where I Am"
The seconds skitter by
And I can't help but realize
That I am closer to living in the past
Than the present
That my future self
Is already struggling
To remember these moments
As crisp and as sharp
as they are
At present
"Chaotically Good"
There couldn't be a more perfect
metaphor
As all the children jumped and ran
this way
You ran and jumped
that way
straight through the crowd
against the grain
against the flow
against the teacher's eager instructions
only 3 years into this life
and you've already mastered
the art of carving your own path
It's a problem for them
You lack interest in blending
The majority moves too slow
too in sync and perfect
and you crave more
bigger, brighter, faster
When they hung by their feet on the bars
in the safety of the center
you scaled the edges
relying on your toes
When they hesitated at the edge of the jump
afraid to stumble, to not land on their feet
you threw yourself over
stunt rolling down the mat
then hurried to the next task
Before one of them could decide to act
you'd done the whole course
three times
You're not content to sit and listen
a single example's enough
and
because I said so
because everyone's doing it
never are
It's a complex skill
making you comply
You can't be tricked into forgetting
you're not easy to distract
from your self assigned missions
you smell an empty bargain
can't be sold any bridges
It won't be easy
this always knowing where you're going
when they haven't told you yet
You'll always be pushing against the edges
breaking the boundaries
crushing expectation
and learning everything the hard way
being labeled rowdy, a disruption
And I'll always be fumbling
half in worry half in awe
to get you in line
but only just enough
you'll need a passing conduct
in these early, formative years
you'll need to learn to learn
through just your ears
to take lesson from caution, instead of falling
to contain that spirit when expected
but only just enough
the balance won't be easy
to conform without meaning it
without needing it
and the world won't be kind
I'll never eradicate your pushing against
even if we try to rein it in
because
that force, fire, momentum within you
is chaotically good is
fundamentally necessarily part of you
and jettisons you through the world
at odd, delightful angles
and because
when they rushed to the wall
simply, without question, as told
you ran to the corner
to the sad little girl there
and whispered something good
kissed her on her forehead
and led her back to the fun
you're drawing your own course
and I can't stop you
not because I don't know how
but because I wouldn't dare
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