If you have a baby, or heck are even expecting a baby, you have likely already heard both sides to the One Year Birthday Party Argument. On one hand, you have the people who go out and spend literally in the lower thousands to throw nothing short of a superb birthday bash for their crawling/toddling bundle of joy. On the other hand, you have people who argue that the baby won't remember the party anyway, and really, isn't this more about you, how you survived a year of adjusting to parenthood?
There are also those in the middle, and I think perhaps the majority of us, who argue for something in between. A smaller event that can be enjoyable for both your babe and the, likely, mostly adult guests. And, there are also those who would say forget the whole thing all together.
I can see where everyone is coming from, and they all have valid points. However, while I don't think you should sacrifice a hefty down payment on a college fund to celebrate your baby making it to one year old, I do think it is worth celebrating (Hey, in the past it was a big deal, and sadly even today many children do not make it to their first birthday). It is worth getting excited about and worth making it more about your baby than about you.
Why? Because while they won't remember the event themselves, you will. So will all those digital images, or lack thereof, floating around in the future (perhaps literally at the rate technology is going).
In defense of having a first year birthday party that is actually set up for the child to enjoy, I offer two arguments:
1. If you are a parent, and you have made your child laugh or smile or stare in wonderment, I should need to say no more. No, your child will not remember this event because they are beings who live in the present, the now. This living in the now is partly what makes them so fascinating too, partly what makes their happiness not only contagious but something to be cherished because it comes swiftly and forcefully. So, why not make them happy? Why not take this day to celebrate them and amaze them with their favorite things, and cake, and family, and friends? Why not give them something to be amazed by, if only for an hour. Why not make them happy this year and next year? Why does someone have to remember fun to have it? Let me tell you this: They may not remember the details of the event, but I do believe it will get shuffled into their subconscious idea of what kind of childhood they had, the impact life has on them, what they expect of the world around them. Plus, let's face it, the older they get, the harder it is going to be to make them smile, to make them wonder. Why miss this opportunity when it is both so easy and so fulfilling?
2. They may not remember, but you will. Wait, didn't I just say this was about them? Yes, but I think any good parent has learned that there is a link between their child's happiness and their own. Having a meaningful event not only gives you good memories and a fun time now, but it offers you something in the future, too. Eventually, your child will get around to perhaps asking what you did for their first birthday. . . Maybe it's because they have a younger sibling, maybe its because they found old pictures, maybe they're just curious, or maybe it isn't until they're trying to figure out what to do for your grandchild. . . but one day you will have the choice of two scenarios. The choice of a moment where you pull out (or up) old photographs and smile and laugh in memories and antidotes, sharing yet another moment with your child that shows them -- not by the extravagance of the event but by your happy memories of it -- how much you love them or think about them, or instead, a choice of a moment where you sigh and say, "Well, you weren't going to remember anyway, so . . . " I'm not saying it will hurt your relationship if that is your answer, but it is a missed opportunity to add to it.
And for any remaining doubters, research has already proven that experience is more valuable than material goods.
The only question remaining is how to go about it. You may be tempted to ditch that college fund, but wait! What is important is that making it an event that both you and your child can enjoy may amount to "not much." What matters is the thought and the heart. If your child doesn't like crowds, keep it small. If your child is a miserable present opener, don't open presents at the party. If your child hates cake, give them pie (or whatever it is that they do like, fruit maybe?). It's about the experience and the enjoyment, remember? And dishing out for a pony ride doesn't mean jack if your little bit can't ride it, and/or doesn't like horses. Not to mention how you'll feel after if you didn't really have the money for something like that in the first place, but "made it work."
When you're in it for the experience, a big budget isn't necessary, just good company and a few good ideas. Besides, there are billions of tips, if you're on a budget and want to get festive, available all over the internet. (You found this blog, so I'm sure you can find those. But here's one for good measure: If you have a good Dollar Tree near you, they even do helium balloons (for a dollar!). )
You know you, and you know your baby. Start there. At this point, a stuffed pony likely has similar potential in making your baby smile or giggle as a real one does. They're easy to make happy remember? Invite their favorite people and your favorite people. Decorate with things they will enjoy. Go from there.
In fact, besides sticking to what you know will make you and them happy, the only other universal advice I can give is to keep it short. At that age they do have a time limit of good public decorum, so about 2 hours, maybe 3 tops, should do you. Plan it around their naps.
But whatever you do-- a trip to the petting zoo, a small party at home, a family picnic in the back yard with a cupcake and some ants, renting a hall and dancing -- whatever it is, do it.
Do it for their smiles now, and the memories of them later. Do it for them. Do it for you.
Life is about moments, the good and the bad. So why not add a few more good?
If you still want to celebrate surviving your first year of parenthood, by all means do so, but perhaps make it a separate event, one that involves a sitter, a movie rated higher than pg, and perhaps some wine. Make your child's birthday about them. After all, it is their day, even if they don't know it yet.
And while there's nothing wrong with celebrating surviving your first year of parenthood, let's face it: you've barely just begun.
There are also those in the middle, and I think perhaps the majority of us, who argue for something in between. A smaller event that can be enjoyable for both your babe and the, likely, mostly adult guests. And, there are also those who would say forget the whole thing all together.
I can see where everyone is coming from, and they all have valid points. However, while I don't think you should sacrifice a hefty down payment on a college fund to celebrate your baby making it to one year old, I do think it is worth celebrating (Hey, in the past it was a big deal, and sadly even today many children do not make it to their first birthday). It is worth getting excited about and worth making it more about your baby than about you.
Why? Because while they won't remember the event themselves, you will. So will all those digital images, or lack thereof, floating around in the future (perhaps literally at the rate technology is going).
In defense of having a first year birthday party that is actually set up for the child to enjoy, I offer two arguments:
1. If you are a parent, and you have made your child laugh or smile or stare in wonderment, I should need to say no more. No, your child will not remember this event because they are beings who live in the present, the now. This living in the now is partly what makes them so fascinating too, partly what makes their happiness not only contagious but something to be cherished because it comes swiftly and forcefully. So, why not make them happy? Why not take this day to celebrate them and amaze them with their favorite things, and cake, and family, and friends? Why not give them something to be amazed by, if only for an hour. Why not make them happy this year and next year? Why does someone have to remember fun to have it? Let me tell you this: They may not remember the details of the event, but I do believe it will get shuffled into their subconscious idea of what kind of childhood they had, the impact life has on them, what they expect of the world around them. Plus, let's face it, the older they get, the harder it is going to be to make them smile, to make them wonder. Why miss this opportunity when it is both so easy and so fulfilling?
2. They may not remember, but you will. Wait, didn't I just say this was about them? Yes, but I think any good parent has learned that there is a link between their child's happiness and their own. Having a meaningful event not only gives you good memories and a fun time now, but it offers you something in the future, too. Eventually, your child will get around to perhaps asking what you did for their first birthday. . . Maybe it's because they have a younger sibling, maybe its because they found old pictures, maybe they're just curious, or maybe it isn't until they're trying to figure out what to do for your grandchild. . . but one day you will have the choice of two scenarios. The choice of a moment where you pull out (or up) old photographs and smile and laugh in memories and antidotes, sharing yet another moment with your child that shows them -- not by the extravagance of the event but by your happy memories of it -- how much you love them or think about them, or instead, a choice of a moment where you sigh and say, "Well, you weren't going to remember anyway, so . . . " I'm not saying it will hurt your relationship if that is your answer, but it is a missed opportunity to add to it.
And for any remaining doubters, research has already proven that experience is more valuable than material goods.
The only question remaining is how to go about it. You may be tempted to ditch that college fund, but wait! What is important is that making it an event that both you and your child can enjoy may amount to "not much." What matters is the thought and the heart. If your child doesn't like crowds, keep it small. If your child is a miserable present opener, don't open presents at the party. If your child hates cake, give them pie (or whatever it is that they do like, fruit maybe?). It's about the experience and the enjoyment, remember? And dishing out for a pony ride doesn't mean jack if your little bit can't ride it, and/or doesn't like horses. Not to mention how you'll feel after if you didn't really have the money for something like that in the first place, but "made it work."
When you're in it for the experience, a big budget isn't necessary, just good company and a few good ideas. Besides, there are billions of tips, if you're on a budget and want to get festive, available all over the internet. (You found this blog, so I'm sure you can find those. But here's one for good measure: If you have a good Dollar Tree near you, they even do helium balloons (for a dollar!). )
You know you, and you know your baby. Start there. At this point, a stuffed pony likely has similar potential in making your baby smile or giggle as a real one does. They're easy to make happy remember? Invite their favorite people and your favorite people. Decorate with things they will enjoy. Go from there.
In fact, besides sticking to what you know will make you and them happy, the only other universal advice I can give is to keep it short. At that age they do have a time limit of good public decorum, so about 2 hours, maybe 3 tops, should do you. Plan it around their naps.
But whatever you do-- a trip to the petting zoo, a small party at home, a family picnic in the back yard with a cupcake and some ants, renting a hall and dancing -- whatever it is, do it.
Do it for their smiles now, and the memories of them later. Do it for them. Do it for you.
Life is about moments, the good and the bad. So why not add a few more good?
If you still want to celebrate surviving your first year of parenthood, by all means do so, but perhaps make it a separate event, one that involves a sitter, a movie rated higher than pg, and perhaps some wine. Make your child's birthday about them. After all, it is their day, even if they don't know it yet.
And while there's nothing wrong with celebrating surviving your first year of parenthood, let's face it: you've barely just begun.
Comments
Post a Comment