When we announced late this past December that we were getting ourselves a puppy for Christmas, our friends and family thought we were insane, and told us so. It wasn't that we planned on getting a Bull Mastiff that would grow to be over 100 lbs (well, that wasn't the concern for most); the "are you crazy"'s were due to the fact that I was 6 months pregnant and by puppy, we meant a sweet little 10 week old.
We insisted that we would be fine and had done our research, and they insisted we would feel differently once the baby actually arrived. And we do feel differently, but not in the way that they all predicted, no promised, we would.
It's not like the decision was based solely on a whim. We had always discussed getting a dog after we got a house and enjoyed the idea of our future child being able to grow up with one in the home. (House and pregnancy just happened a little closer together than planned.) In fact, we likely would have gotten one sooner had the search not been so difficult. We of course wanted a dog that would be good with children and that would serve a nice secondary purpose as a guard dog. But once city breed restrictions, insurance restrictions, and our finiky two cats were taken into question, finding an adoptable dog became difficult.
Add to the fact that after I started showing, most adoption agencies wouldn't give me the time of day.
So, make that Very difficult.
Now, it isn't that the agencies or our family and friends were solely unfounded. Too many animals are adopted and returned, many because kids enter the picture (sometimes even years after the animal is acquired). It is a sad and difficult track record to argue against, and I'm sure everyone says, "but I'm different!"
I had done all the basic research into breeds and the measures that needed to be taken upon acquiring a new dog or puppy. I had also scoured (online and in person) a billion adoption agencies and breeders.
But with so many people telling you you're nuts, you do second guess yourself. So I did more research, specifically : Adopting a dog while pregnant.
As an English teacher that teaches hundreds of students every semester about finding reliable unbiased source materials, I found my search results to be rather one sided and disappointing. Basically, almost every site I found recommended you just not do it. The most unbiased admitted it was possible, but still cautioned against it since you didn't know for sure how you would feel after the baby actually arrived.
The one blog post I found in favor was a women who was pregnant and just gotten a puppy and felt the need to say "look, it can be done and I love it!" Though, she hadn't actually given birth at the time of the post, and though it was several months later, had not updated her feelings. Regardless, she had given me hope.
Besides, didn't my hours of breed and care research and my own sense of self mean anything?
So we went for it. We got that adorable pure breed (still a bit guilty about that part) ball of adorable fluff, knowing another baby would be quick on our heals and that this little puff would soon be a 50lbs and up wonder.
And, we love it -- with reservation. So, in an effort to make the information out there a bit more Fair, here is what I have to say on the matter:
We insisted that we would be fine and had done our research, and they insisted we would feel differently once the baby actually arrived. And we do feel differently, but not in the way that they all predicted, no promised, we would.
---------
Add to the fact that after I started showing, most adoption agencies wouldn't give me the time of day.
So, make that Very difficult.
Now, it isn't that the agencies or our family and friends were solely unfounded. Too many animals are adopted and returned, many because kids enter the picture (sometimes even years after the animal is acquired). It is a sad and difficult track record to argue against, and I'm sure everyone says, "but I'm different!"
I had done all the basic research into breeds and the measures that needed to be taken upon acquiring a new dog or puppy. I had also scoured (online and in person) a billion adoption agencies and breeders.
But with so many people telling you you're nuts, you do second guess yourself. So I did more research, specifically : Adopting a dog while pregnant.
As an English teacher that teaches hundreds of students every semester about finding reliable unbiased source materials, I found my search results to be rather one sided and disappointing. Basically, almost every site I found recommended you just not do it. The most unbiased admitted it was possible, but still cautioned against it since you didn't know for sure how you would feel after the baby actually arrived.
The one blog post I found in favor was a women who was pregnant and just gotten a puppy and felt the need to say "look, it can be done and I love it!" Though, she hadn't actually given birth at the time of the post, and though it was several months later, had not updated her feelings. Regardless, she had given me hope.
Besides, didn't my hours of breed and care research and my own sense of self mean anything?
So we went for it. We got that adorable pure breed (still a bit guilty about that part) ball of adorable fluff, knowing another baby would be quick on our heals and that this little puff would soon be a 50lbs and up wonder.
And, we love it -- with reservation. So, in an effort to make the information out there a bit more Fair, here is what I have to say on the matter:
Why it Isn't Such a Bad Idea:
- Practice-- Raising a puppy and raising a baby are different, duh, but not as different as one might expect. Puppies require a lot of attention and decision making. How you are going to train them, feed them, where they are allowed to go or not go, play with or not play with etc. are all decisions that need to be made and are all decisions that you and your partner may not actually agree on. Consider this a minicourse of what is to come when a child enters the picture. Even if you have similar feelings on those matters, you may find that discussion and compromise is still needed. Additionally, I'm sure all the Baby sites have warned you about how you might get angry at your husband postnatal and how the splitting of responsibilities and "me" time is important? Well, again, consider getting a puppy a minicourse.
By the time Baby got here we were actually pretty good with those things (not saying we wouldn't have figured it out anyway, obviously) but we were more concious of checking in on the other about certain things, discussing things like how many times did they poop today etc. over the phone, and reassuring ourselves that hey look -- we're working together to help the growth of another living thing and we're not complete failures! Plus, I'm sure all the frustrations over potty training will make potty training a human who actually will understand what "You really need to go potty here and not here" means, that much easier. Also, you get a boost of responsibility since puppy needs to be somewhat under control by the time baby arrives, so that means sticking to a schedule and training routines. (Without the fear of a dog jumping on my baby, I may have given up on several commands very easily.) - Puppy Proofing is like Baby Proofing-- Puppies like to stick things in their mouths. All kinds of things, even things that are dangerous for them or that they shouldn't have. Power cords included. Unlike Babies, they're also likely to destroy them, boosting the incentive to get everything up and off the floor or low table Now as opposed to Later. You'll also invest in a gate sooner than you need to for baby, which is a good thing.
- Puppy and Baby will grow up together, likely fostering a greater bond than you yourself have with said Puppy. -- Our puppy, Hilda, adores our little man. She watches over him, licks him like crazy, and snuggles him to death. He loves watching her, has already at two months tried interacting with her (mostly just smacking in her general direction), with as much as she licks him will likely not grow up to be afraid of animals and will additionally have the whole "do it gently" thing worked in by the time we introduce him to pets that aren't so predictable.
- Superficial bonus? Adorable baby animal pictures. Adorable. (See below.)
- Exercise! -- The doctors, books, magazines, and websites all tell you you should stay active while pregnant and that walking helps labor along. You are about 80% (at least) more likely to Actually get off your ass and go for a walk because leash training and wearing out your puppy are both necessary. Besides that, necessary movement like chasing the puppy around or even playing fetch gets you moving. And it is good for you.
The Thing We Would have done Differently:
- We would have gotten her sooner. -- No really. 6 months preggers is the latest I would recommend to anyone. Of course, training level of dog needs to be taken into account and health level during pregnancy also needs to be considered, but you need to give yourself time to get to know the dog, get them used to you and your house and your rules, get them trained (if they were acquired untrained), and also leave time so that neither you nor the animal feels overwhelmed when baby arrives. As I said, we cut it just under the wire. The week I went into labor, Hilda had only just successfully made it 3 days in a row without going pee in the house and us being gone over night at the hospital really concerned her since she was still so young. Changing diapers and cleaning up dog mess are each their own thing, and you don't really want to be doing both at the same time. I got to. Not for long, but I did.
That being said, the bigger your stomach the harder it is to get on the ground to play or clean, so the sooner in the pregnancy, the smaller your stomach the easier to take care of such things. Additionally, get the puppy while you're still allowed to pick it up (especially if it intends to grow to over 100lbs in less than a year).
CAUTION:
Getting a dog while pregnant is not for everyone; in fact, it probably isn't for most people. So here are some musts.
- MUST -- You MUST LOVE animals. No I mean LOVE them like they are a part of your family. Almost consider them a sibling with fur.
After my son arrived I was so afraid of anything happening to him. A pillow was scary let alone a rambuncious puppy who had missed me terribly for two days. I didn't let the cats sleep with us for like three weeks, because I didn't want them to accidentally jump on him -- a fear Completely unfounded by the way as both of my cats were scared of him at first(lol).
Now, I'm not saying I regretted getting the dog or that I thought about throwing all three fury beasts out on to the street, but I can certainly see why someone would opt out, especially if they don't feel as attached to their animals as I do. (I really did feel guilty about making the cats find new sleeping arrangements for those few weeks.) You're just not sure what is going to happen, you have to be vigilant --especially at first--, and your fur-babies don't understand things like "he can't control his arms, that's why he hit you in the face." However, they do understand what a Baby is. There is some kind of mechanism. Hilda may not always be as careful as she should be (She's only 7 months for heavens sake) but she is ever watchful of him and does understand that he is more delicate than us. Astrid, my one cat, is additionally gentle and patient with him, though still not sure what to make of him at times.
Now, if you love your pets that much and are willing to work with them, getting a puppy or having a pet and a baby at the same time really isn't that much different than deciding to have your second child while your first is just a toddler. I feel that is the same amount of energy I put in sometimes and indeed report on the behavior of both puppy and baby to my husband. Only, unlike a toddler, when you get frustrated with puppy you can tell them to go run it off in the back yard for awhile, alone. - Additionally concerns may include money (both puppies and babies will take a chunk out) and energy -- not all pregnant women are up to chasing a pup.
Before you Buy or Adopt: Research
Part of the reason we had such a positive experience is because we did our research. We purposefully got a Bull Mastiff -- known for their loyalty, intuition, and low energy levels and exercise needs-- and not, say a lab -- known to be hyper as all f-ing get out. We knew she would be a good fit for us, our life style, and low maintenance when baby did arrive.
But if you're a responsible pet owner, you should have already done that regardless.
So there you have it. Everything I've learned so far, why it isn't such a bad idea, and why we are happy with our decision. And since a picture is worth a million words, I leave you with this:
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