Of the three months last summer that I spent virtually unemployed, my biggest accomplishment was watching nearly all of season one of Quantum Leap and getting half way through the To-be-filed boxes (which have grown back to nearly their original size by now).
Sure, in July my cousin came up to visit and we had a blast skipping about New York for a weekend and I was working about 7-10 hours a week doing at work meetings with WW, and at the end of perhaps the most demanding semester of my life, I cleaned and organized every square inch of our then one bedroom apartment, including getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the detestable white kitchen floor, and I'm sure somewhere in there I did something productive, like the 1 half-hearted day I dedicated to re-studying for GRE English exam, and I'm sure all the books I read counted for something (I may have even written a short story or two!), but when it comes down to it, last summer was most leisurely summer since, gosh, since I was a child, or at least a tween (excluding the 2 months we settled into Baltimore, discussed below).
Even the summer between 8th and 9th grade was full of band parades and practices for guard. Since then (the tender age of 14) my summers have been as full as my falls, springs, and winters. I was either training away and working as close to full time as possible (or likely both) during High School, and college offered no reprieve as I jumped on summer courses for what they truly were-- an early ticket out of college, a way to jump-start my life, get it rolling, and become highly successful (both career wise and family wise) by the time I was 30.
Of course, I should have known better than to suspect that to achieve that I would have simply stopped with two Bachelors degrees. I worked 3 jobs in the spring that I waited to start graduate school, up until I had to pack and move half way across the country to attend it.
Then we had the beautiful July and August before it all started. Neither Chris or I had found jobs yet and we spent our days procuring things for the apartment, arranging the apartment, playing games, watching movies, job hunting, getting to know the area, sleeping until 2 or 3 pm and making jokes about what our neighbors must think. Even though he hadn't even proposed yet, I like to think of this as our true honey moon. We were alone, knew no one here, and had nothing but time on hands.
Thinking of it now it all seems pretty surreal and I had nearly forgotten about it.
But then Grad school started and we both eventually found jobs. Though I didn't take summer courses every time (financial aid wouldn't cover it and the offerings were slim) I upped my work schedule as much as possible. In fact, the summer before my last year was the one summer I did take a summer class. I also kept my full time job and taught 2 classes at a summer enrichment class for kids k-8, until August when I began teaching and picked another part time job. That semester was brutal, but despite taking one less class in the Spring, the Spring did not get any better. You try arranging, editing, designing, publishing, and hand piecing together multiple copies of a book while helping others with theirs AND maintaining your other two jobs, and then you'll know what I mean.
In short-- after that year I thought I DESERVED a dead summer. I made no attempts to find another part time job or to even increase the time spent at the one I had, which had gotten pretty low toward the end of that grueling semester. I spent as much time as possible doing nothing- sometimes quite literally.
Unless it involved reading, seeing a movie or friends, or doing the basic necessities to keep living, I surrendered to the freedom of nothingness. A nice as it was, by the end I was beginning to feel a little stir crazy and regretful. I could have spent forever picking out readings for my 102 class instead of 2 weeks, for instance. I could have written a new critical essay to submit for PhD prospects instead of just revising an older one (even if the revisions were extensive). I could have written something new or made another book for Atomic Books. I could have simply expanded my education or actually learned French. I could have picked up a hobby even.
Last summer was nice. To say that I regret the entirety of it would be incorrect. It was fun. It was nice. It was a rare opportunity that I shall likely not see the likes of really again. At least not to that extent. At least not for quite some time. Plus, I have gradually grown to accept those times of nothing or those times of pleasure. They are as necessary as the challenges. There needs to be a balance.
(Times of nothing used to make me anxious or guilty. I felt like my time was so wasted, even if I hadn't been procrastinating or had nothing due. But I have sense accepted that they are just as important to brain function as all those busy time. Again. Balance.)
And yet, though it looks like I will be completely unemployed this July and August, I have little to no ambition to repeat it. I'm not going to go out and get some silly part time job for 2 months, but I am going refocus my efforts in other areas.
There is plenty I'd like to work on Writing wise, but beyond that I want to challenge myself to become smarter. I want to challenge my brain to accomplish the phenomenal and inexplicable leaps it made that semester I took Full Time summer courses- as in 15 credit hours worth.
Why? Why not? There is so much out there in the world. We can never learn all of it. there's just no way. But there is so much that is fascinating, wonderful, crazy, and waiting to be explored. The smarter I am, the more it benefits me, my enjoyment of literary references, my conversations, my understanding of the world, and the more it benefits my students.
I've mentioned several times that I LOVE teaching and I want to do what I can to improve my ability to do it correctly. The more I expand my mind, the better my ability to expand theirs.
Sure I want to better my chances at one day getting into graduate school too-- but what I've realized is that I don't need to WAIT for graduate school. I can just start. If they want to pick me up along the way, so be it. But there's no reason I need to put my education on hold over something as silly as being officially enrolled in an institution.
And there will be plenty of time to do both this July and August- both the nothing and the challenges, and I should take advantage of that. Take advantage of BOTH of those opportunities.
And hopefully this will roll on into the Fall, when my free time is certainly less. (Considering I'm contemplating teaching on a 5th class like last Fall, which was CRAZY. Though this would be less composition... but still.)
So here's to education. Here's to fun. Here's to plorking, a term my graduate program ushered in [I am having a total mind blank and cannot remember what the word is when someone is noted for using a word first, ugh.] to describe work that one enjoys doing, which is also what I spend most of my time doing anyway since I totally love my job. So really, here's to plorking as much as humanly possible.
Sure, in July my cousin came up to visit and we had a blast skipping about New York for a weekend and I was working about 7-10 hours a week doing at work meetings with WW, and at the end of perhaps the most demanding semester of my life, I cleaned and organized every square inch of our then one bedroom apartment, including getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the detestable white kitchen floor, and I'm sure somewhere in there I did something productive, like the 1 half-hearted day I dedicated to re-studying for GRE English exam, and I'm sure all the books I read counted for something (I may have even written a short story or two!), but when it comes down to it, last summer was most leisurely summer since, gosh, since I was a child, or at least a tween (excluding the 2 months we settled into Baltimore, discussed below).
Even the summer between 8th and 9th grade was full of band parades and practices for guard. Since then (the tender age of 14) my summers have been as full as my falls, springs, and winters. I was either training away and working as close to full time as possible (or likely both) during High School, and college offered no reprieve as I jumped on summer courses for what they truly were-- an early ticket out of college, a way to jump-start my life, get it rolling, and become highly successful (both career wise and family wise) by the time I was 30.
Of course, I should have known better than to suspect that to achieve that I would have simply stopped with two Bachelors degrees. I worked 3 jobs in the spring that I waited to start graduate school, up until I had to pack and move half way across the country to attend it.
Then we had the beautiful July and August before it all started. Neither Chris or I had found jobs yet and we spent our days procuring things for the apartment, arranging the apartment, playing games, watching movies, job hunting, getting to know the area, sleeping until 2 or 3 pm and making jokes about what our neighbors must think. Even though he hadn't even proposed yet, I like to think of this as our true honey moon. We were alone, knew no one here, and had nothing but time on hands.
Thinking of it now it all seems pretty surreal and I had nearly forgotten about it.
But then Grad school started and we both eventually found jobs. Though I didn't take summer courses every time (financial aid wouldn't cover it and the offerings were slim) I upped my work schedule as much as possible. In fact, the summer before my last year was the one summer I did take a summer class. I also kept my full time job and taught 2 classes at a summer enrichment class for kids k-8, until August when I began teaching and picked another part time job. That semester was brutal, but despite taking one less class in the Spring, the Spring did not get any better. You try arranging, editing, designing, publishing, and hand piecing together multiple copies of a book while helping others with theirs AND maintaining your other two jobs, and then you'll know what I mean.
In short-- after that year I thought I DESERVED a dead summer. I made no attempts to find another part time job or to even increase the time spent at the one I had, which had gotten pretty low toward the end of that grueling semester. I spent as much time as possible doing nothing- sometimes quite literally.
Unless it involved reading, seeing a movie or friends, or doing the basic necessities to keep living, I surrendered to the freedom of nothingness. A nice as it was, by the end I was beginning to feel a little stir crazy and regretful. I could have spent forever picking out readings for my 102 class instead of 2 weeks, for instance. I could have written a new critical essay to submit for PhD prospects instead of just revising an older one (even if the revisions were extensive). I could have written something new or made another book for Atomic Books. I could have simply expanded my education or actually learned French. I could have picked up a hobby even.
Last summer was nice. To say that I regret the entirety of it would be incorrect. It was fun. It was nice. It was a rare opportunity that I shall likely not see the likes of really again. At least not to that extent. At least not for quite some time. Plus, I have gradually grown to accept those times of nothing or those times of pleasure. They are as necessary as the challenges. There needs to be a balance.
(Times of nothing used to make me anxious or guilty. I felt like my time was so wasted, even if I hadn't been procrastinating or had nothing due. But I have sense accepted that they are just as important to brain function as all those busy time. Again. Balance.)
And yet, though it looks like I will be completely unemployed this July and August, I have little to no ambition to repeat it. I'm not going to go out and get some silly part time job for 2 months, but I am going refocus my efforts in other areas.
There is plenty I'd like to work on Writing wise, but beyond that I want to challenge myself to become smarter. I want to challenge my brain to accomplish the phenomenal and inexplicable leaps it made that semester I took Full Time summer courses- as in 15 credit hours worth.
Why? Why not? There is so much out there in the world. We can never learn all of it. there's just no way. But there is so much that is fascinating, wonderful, crazy, and waiting to be explored. The smarter I am, the more it benefits me, my enjoyment of literary references, my conversations, my understanding of the world, and the more it benefits my students.
I've mentioned several times that I LOVE teaching and I want to do what I can to improve my ability to do it correctly. The more I expand my mind, the better my ability to expand theirs.
Sure I want to better my chances at one day getting into graduate school too-- but what I've realized is that I don't need to WAIT for graduate school. I can just start. If they want to pick me up along the way, so be it. But there's no reason I need to put my education on hold over something as silly as being officially enrolled in an institution.
And there will be plenty of time to do both this July and August- both the nothing and the challenges, and I should take advantage of that. Take advantage of BOTH of those opportunities.
And hopefully this will roll on into the Fall, when my free time is certainly less. (Considering I'm contemplating teaching on a 5th class like last Fall, which was CRAZY. Though this would be less composition... but still.)
So here's to education. Here's to fun. Here's to plorking, a term my graduate program ushered in [I am having a total mind blank and cannot remember what the word is when someone is noted for using a word first, ugh.] to describe work that one enjoys doing, which is also what I spend most of my time doing anyway since I totally love my job. So really, here's to plorking as much as humanly possible.
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