Student Teacher Parent Who

It is more likely for people to expect a girl to turn out like her mother and a son like his father. I think this is overly narrow minded. We may more easily recognize those qualities as we look for them more readily, and perhaps, ourselves, ease into them more naturally without question.

However we are more than just one parent. From the very beginning, down to our very genetics we are both. Raised by both then exposed to both.

In other words, women need not only fear becoming their mother, but also their father (if fear is the appropriate emotion). The saying "become our parents" is truly accurate. We probably began saying it to encompass both the mother/daughter father/son complexes, but it is most true said about one individual becoming these two people.

We are like a three piece set- our mother, our father, our experiences when they are not around. Truly unique.

I recently realized this very fully. I have traits from both my mother and father. Not just one. Both. If I have my mother's mouth then it is paired with my father's hard headedness. My mother's reasoning and need to understand it all along with my father's determined nature and will to never quit.

I could go on, but what I realized further and find more interesting is what I learned not directly from them (though certainly in speech they have told me this time and time again) but from my experiences.

One particular thing is this: the necessity of standing up for yourself.

They told me to do this, still tell me to do this (you should have heard my dad when I told him I didn't ask the dentist why she ground down that extra tooth), but I notice more and more it is me telling them to do it. It is me telling them it is ok to be them. It is me telling them they need to take care of themselves- eat the right food, go to the doctor, don't let those people over work you, why are you listening to them, do what you want to do, don't let them treat you like that, you should have said that/done that then! When did the roles switch? When did I have to start looking out for them and why don't they listen all ready? I'm not telling them anything new. Nothing they don't already know.

But while they said it to me, I find I do it more in practice than they seem to.

Maybe it is this: We get to see the world as they don't, through both their eyes simultaneously while experiencing additional things, and then we look back on them with this new set of eyes. They have taught us so well that we try to parent them back, turning the mixture of their traits back on them.

Somehow may parents taught me not to take crap from no one. But they each skipped a few lessons. Together (and additional experiences) I got the whole lesson. They'll do it for me. They'll stand up for me and others they love, but sometimes I wish they'd stand up for themselves a bit more.

I'm not sure if this will make sense to anyone and my head kind of hurts and I'm sure my parents will have something to say about it. But oh well. Here it is.