I got up at 5:30 am. It is almost midnight and I still can't sleep. I did have a nap this afternoon, but that is not the reason. My head is a rush with ideas at this time of night. Perhaps my insomnia is nothing more than a symptom of not writing.
As slightly feared, the lack of continual schedule has completely thrown me off. I haven't been blogging everyday as I proposed. I haven't submitted a thing. I'm easing awkwardly back into the sense of reading for pleasure, but because I have less to do I feel both that I am wasting time and not getting everything done that I should be.
In short I have fallen into my familiar all or nothing state- overworked or a near layabout. I think I should allow myself some time after an overworked phase for such a position, but I am already, after only a few weeks, beginning to itch. I know too well how addictive the life of nothing can be and how dull and uninspiring as well.
But as I was saying, perhaps this is the cause for my insomnia. I need the creativity and so my mind is trying to keep working, trying to make up for my body's lack of effort. (Is it really too much to ask to remember to do things I now have plenty of time to do?)
Granted the past two weeks have been a little weird in their exceptions, but I fear my whole summer becoming this: Lose and uninspiring, pleasant as that can be. So I will start tomorrow reasserting myself. Perhaps I should make it a point to even leave the house everyday whether I need to or not. The caged life can become all too comforting and a disillusioning.
As slightly feared, the lack of continual schedule has completely thrown me off. I haven't been blogging everyday as I proposed. I haven't submitted a thing. I'm easing awkwardly back into the sense of reading for pleasure, but because I have less to do I feel both that I am wasting time and not getting everything done that I should be.
In short I have fallen into my familiar all or nothing state- overworked or a near layabout. I think I should allow myself some time after an overworked phase for such a position, but I am already, after only a few weeks, beginning to itch. I know too well how addictive the life of nothing can be and how dull and uninspiring as well.
But as I was saying, perhaps this is the cause for my insomnia. I need the creativity and so my mind is trying to keep working, trying to make up for my body's lack of effort. (Is it really too much to ask to remember to do things I now have plenty of time to do?)
Granted the past two weeks have been a little weird in their exceptions, but I fear my whole summer becoming this: Lose and uninspiring, pleasant as that can be. So I will start tomorrow reasserting myself. Perhaps I should make it a point to even leave the house everyday whether I need to or not. The caged life can become all too comforting and a disillusioning.
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