A year ago I didn't know what to call myself.
What I mean is, I had been a Hart my entire life and on Dec. 31st 2007, I decided to become a Nyland. Perhaps for most people this is a clear cut issue. What does your driver's license say?
But I'm a writer and I have written things. They weren't published, but it felt like a lie or a travesty to change the name at the top. Nyland hadn't written them, Hart did.
I didn't know what to do. I had never wanted to write under a pseudonym. I wanted to write as myself. I also didn't want half of my stuff to be under Hart and half under Nyland.
I've been thinking about names a lot lately. It really is interesting how your name is so important to your identity. People change them, use their middle names, use nicknames, assume things about other people based on their names.
Hart was my public name as much as it was my personal name. Nicknames don't tend to stick to me. They seemingly slide off, unless your my mother or father.
A few weeks ago I discovered, or perhaps rediscovered, that there is a romance novelist with my maiden name, my WHOLE maiden name. She spells the first name different. I was aghast in a way. It is rare that I run into people with my name, and rarer that they be writers of any kind. Instead of pushing me to write under Nyland however this pushed me to want to reclaim my name, and add a middle initial for clarity.
Essentially, I've always felt a little weird about adding my name to work anyway. I both fantasize about fame and glory and wish to avoid it. Getting married handed me the best option.
I can write under my maiden name, with middle initial, and I am myself. I have decided that I don't have to choose. I am both a Hart and a Nyland. Writing under my maiden name isn't really a pseudonym. I am a Hart. Living under the name of Nyland though gives me a false sense of humility and secrecy. Though I will probably note that name in every little bio. (because I don't know why, but I am constantly concerned about being mistaken for someone else.)
Anyway, hoorah for me.
What I mean is, I had been a Hart my entire life and on Dec. 31st 2007, I decided to become a Nyland. Perhaps for most people this is a clear cut issue. What does your driver's license say?
But I'm a writer and I have written things. They weren't published, but it felt like a lie or a travesty to change the name at the top. Nyland hadn't written them, Hart did.
I didn't know what to do. I had never wanted to write under a pseudonym. I wanted to write as myself. I also didn't want half of my stuff to be under Hart and half under Nyland.
I've been thinking about names a lot lately. It really is interesting how your name is so important to your identity. People change them, use their middle names, use nicknames, assume things about other people based on their names.
Hart was my public name as much as it was my personal name. Nicknames don't tend to stick to me. They seemingly slide off, unless your my mother or father.
A few weeks ago I discovered, or perhaps rediscovered, that there is a romance novelist with my maiden name, my WHOLE maiden name. She spells the first name different. I was aghast in a way. It is rare that I run into people with my name, and rarer that they be writers of any kind. Instead of pushing me to write under Nyland however this pushed me to want to reclaim my name, and add a middle initial for clarity.
Essentially, I've always felt a little weird about adding my name to work anyway. I both fantasize about fame and glory and wish to avoid it. Getting married handed me the best option.
I can write under my maiden name, with middle initial, and I am myself. I have decided that I don't have to choose. I am both a Hart and a Nyland. Writing under my maiden name isn't really a pseudonym. I am a Hart. Living under the name of Nyland though gives me a false sense of humility and secrecy. Though I will probably note that name in every little bio. (because I don't know why, but I am constantly concerned about being mistaken for someone else.)
Anyway, hoorah for me.
Comments
Post a Comment